These days I spend most hours of most days in company, whether that of family, colleagues or clients. I would almost certainly prefer to be either alone or in company with two or three at most.
As always, Beckett captures the disorienting nature of company to the self-contained:
Leave it at that. Confusion too is company up to a point. Better hope deferred than none. Up to a point. Till the heart starts to sicken. Company too up to a point.
Although I suppress my discomfort of crowds for opera and concerts, it is often with a sense of heartsickness and restlessness. While jammed in with thousands of spectators I am anticipating the moments when I will be in my little room amid books, to meditate on the show, take notes and read the programme. Somehow the memories are more exquisite when taken apart from the clamour of a crowd.